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Archive for February, 2012

We’ve all said, “I can’t believe how fast time has passed. It’s kind of scary.” But I believe the speed of time is a barometer of how meaningful the content of that time has been. When we “waste time”, that time has, in no way, honored our life goals, or what we think important time should be. If we have a job, for example, that merely “pays the bills” but does not fulfill us, time will rush in and fill the gap of insignificance. And since it rushes in so fast, we perceive time speeding by, which “scares” us. Anytime we perceive something as different from what it actually is, we get frightened. And the misperception of time is, arguably, the most frightening of all. On the other hand, when we are engaged in an activity that we perceive as meaningful, time moves at a normal pace. We remember these times with reverence, with grace, with the dignity it deserves. This holds for quality time with family, time consumed with helping others, time creating art, time engaged in a hobby or pastime (well phrased), time in meditation or prayer, time in silence, time in nature using our senses, time walking to nowhere in particular. In the late 70’s, I lived in a cabin in the New Hampshire woods, absorbed in nature and solitude, (quite literally) “chopping wood and carrying water.” I had no car. I had no electricity. I had no (more…)

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Buddhism teaches not to judge, so as you read the following, don’t.

Diets don’t work…but they’re far from unemployed.

The right tool for the right job. Or to put it another way: the right tool doesn’t work unless you hire it.

If you lose a needle in the haystack, find another hobby.

Moderation is good…in moderation.

The early bird used to catch the worm when it was worth getting up for.

Whatever the mind can believe, the mind can deceive.

Know your limitations…then defriend them.

Behold, the Gingrich who stole Christmas.

I’m against abortion, unless a woman has thought it through and decides she needs one.

A penny saved is kind of stupid these days.

A penny earned is just that.

Since Jesus turned water into wine, how did the Christians ever pass Prohibition?

Water over the bridge is a like a foreclosed house: under water.

A bird in hand is worthy of a ride to the rescue center.

It’s Howdy Doody Wine: full freckled, high cheeked, and clear as a bell.

Borderline Person out of Order

Global Warming: BiPolar Disorder

Brinefeld: A show about salt.

Shakespeare: now appearing at the San Andreas Theater in San Francisco.

Some say Shakespeare didn’t write the plays ascribed to him, but he’s the only one who took credit.

When crossing a street, remember, cars will often double-cross you.

Mitt Romney: He’s the man who can be whoever you want him to be or not to be: That is the question. Or is it the answer? He’ll betcha ten thousand on it!

If you meet the Buddha on the road, ask directions.

The Bible says Jesus walked on water. It just doesn’t say how deep it was.

Children should be seen and heard, and not hurt.

Father knows best less.

Men are from Mars; Women from Venus; and both need their space.

The know-it-all is like Humpty Dumpty on a wall: ready for a great fall.

It’s as American as apple pie in the sky.

Golf spelled backwards is Flog.

Written on New Hampshire license plates, which are made by prison inmates: Live Free or Die.

Sorry, an apple a day is not covered by your insurance.

E=NC squared, N being a nap after lunch.

The devil’s in the details, but, hell, I can’t find my goddamn reading glasses.

They say dieting and exorcising are best.

Maestro, there’s a fly in my flute.

The Tea Party must be learning disabled: They say “no taxation” but forget the “without representation”.

These days, a man’s best friend is his blog.

Nowadays, a home’s man is its vassal.

Diamonds are a girl’s best hedge.

GOP: It’s my way or the highway…to nowhere

Men are like saving bonds: They take too long to mature.

With Bluetooth cell phones, I can’t tell who’s crazy anymore.

I’m all for guns, but only for state and national militias like the Second Amendment says.

I really like Buddhism, without all the precepts and stuff.

I never met a lobster I didn’t like.

I predict in 500 years, with the advent of computers, that human beings will no longer be able to add, subtract, divide, and, consequently, multiply.

I’m all for drinking, smoking, reckless driving, and national health insurance.

Obama cares.

Cats rule, and they know it.

Give me liberty instead of death.

Plastic surgery is like a horserace: ahead by a nose, slipping behind, good looking roan, can’t outrun time.

I’m so successful that I’ve been able to succeed at failure.

Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope. Now we have no jobs, no cash, and no hope.

Doctors Without Borders Books.

Politicians have a way of apologizing to those they’ve offended, thereby offending those they apologize to.

I’ve pushed the envelope so much I now have it licked.

The problem with the 99 percent is that, down deep, they want to be part of the 1 percent.

The reason the Occupy Movement hasn’t caught on with the mainstream is that 90 percent of the 99 percent have jobs.

Herman Cain is not Abel.

What is matter? Never mind. What is mind? No matter.

Some say Mormons are not Christians, the same of which can be said of most Christians.

The Bible says the Israelites are the Chosen People, and that settlements it.

On the seventh day, God rested, the Bible says, and is still resting.

Where there’s a will, most want to be in it.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’ll soon be dead, and so will you.

My balloon loan blew up.

With my out-of-pocket costs, I am now out of pockets.

I must’ve lost my head spending an arm and a leg for that car.

Money is no object unless you lose it.

The Great Recession is an end to your means.

Don’t do as I do, or say as I say.

The family that prays together prays that they stay together.

I’m all for same sex marriage, but a little variety does spice things up.

Money does grow on trees.But it’s down amongst the roots of all evil.

* Using any of these without permission by and acknowledgement of the author could well result in two broken knee caps. I’m just sayings.

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